Okay. I'm back, my friends. Today was not good but there was something that managed to cheer me up tonight and that was Mary J.Blige. I ended up watching a documentary (which I've been watching regularly for some time now) about the journey of black music. Tonight the final episode was aired and it featured Mary. Some of her life story was revealed (which I was not that familiar with - even though I've always thought she's a brilliant singer). Anyways, the documentary finished with her performance of "No More Drama". So, there I was, sitting in my couch after absolutely horrendeous day, feeling like shit. And then this beautiful soul begins to sing. I shivered, felt every word in my spine, felt every nuance in her voice. The pain and the realness.
There's been many moments like this in my life - just when I am at the absolute lowest, certain piece of art or one line someone says or some small intimate detail, a story, a clip in a great movie, anything, can turn the day around completely. And this live performance by Mary J.Blige was one of those key moments today - I was coming from a place with feelings of no hope and ended up in another place thinking "I can get up again, one more time, I can do it, enough of this drama".
Yes... Things still suck and no, it won't be easy. It's gonna be a battle but well... Who ever promised life was supposed to be easy? We tend to forget - or maybe I should say I tend to forget this at times. I have had more downs in my life than ups, and even though I am thankful for both cos they do build character, there are moments when I think that "have I gotten enough shit already? Why is this happening to me again? What do I need to learn from this? How much do I need to take?" And yes, then there comes days when I say to myself: "no more"... "i can't take it no more"... "i don't wanna experience this"... "i just wanna disappear"... even as far as "living is not worth the pain it brings"... Yes, very sad, dramatic, whatever. But it is real. Unlike some people I cannot block these thoughts and just pretend things are fine when they aren't. I am not good at faking the perfect "okay" smile when I do not feel like it. I admire people who are strong enough to smile through these moments and mean it, not fake it. To me, denying something, faking something is shallow and empty. And I may be alot of things, I can be all things human and sometimes beyond but never empty in terms of soul. Does that seem pompous to you? Do you feel that I am somehow placing myself above you? Then you are getting me wrong.
Everyone's got soul but the big question is are you living through it or are you hiding it? Are you being truthful about your feelings and your life, embracing yourself for what you are or playing a somebody else to accomodate other people? Do you know what are the most important things for you? I do. But it does not mean I have them. That... is what equals pain of existence. Despite of it, I will pull myself together, go through another day - at the same time loving it and hating it.
Tonight, I say "no more drama" and I mean it. I mean it till life beats the shit out of me again, until I find myself on the floor picking up the pieces of me or something that I loved. But tonight I choose no drama. I choose calmness. I choose strength. I choose life and I choose me.
Thank you Mary for giving me strength tonight. I dedicate this song to all of you out there: all who struggle and battle with the drama in their own life. Let's choose "no" for a change.
There's been many moments like this in my life - just when I am at the absolute lowest, certain piece of art or one line someone says or some small intimate detail, a story, a clip in a great movie, anything, can turn the day around completely. And this live performance by Mary J.Blige was one of those key moments today - I was coming from a place with feelings of no hope and ended up in another place thinking "I can get up again, one more time, I can do it, enough of this drama".
Yes... Things still suck and no, it won't be easy. It's gonna be a battle but well... Who ever promised life was supposed to be easy? We tend to forget - or maybe I should say I tend to forget this at times. I have had more downs in my life than ups, and even though I am thankful for both cos they do build character, there are moments when I think that "have I gotten enough shit already? Why is this happening to me again? What do I need to learn from this? How much do I need to take?" And yes, then there comes days when I say to myself: "no more"... "i can't take it no more"... "i don't wanna experience this"... "i just wanna disappear"... even as far as "living is not worth the pain it brings"... Yes, very sad, dramatic, whatever. But it is real. Unlike some people I cannot block these thoughts and just pretend things are fine when they aren't. I am not good at faking the perfect "okay" smile when I do not feel like it. I admire people who are strong enough to smile through these moments and mean it, not fake it. To me, denying something, faking something is shallow and empty. And I may be alot of things, I can be all things human and sometimes beyond but never empty in terms of soul. Does that seem pompous to you? Do you feel that I am somehow placing myself above you? Then you are getting me wrong.
Everyone's got soul but the big question is are you living through it or are you hiding it? Are you being truthful about your feelings and your life, embracing yourself for what you are or playing a somebody else to accomodate other people? Do you know what are the most important things for you? I do. But it does not mean I have them. That... is what equals pain of existence. Despite of it, I will pull myself together, go through another day - at the same time loving it and hating it.
Tonight, I say "no more drama" and I mean it. I mean it till life beats the shit out of me again, until I find myself on the floor picking up the pieces of me or something that I loved. But tonight I choose no drama. I choose calmness. I choose strength. I choose life and I choose me.
Thank you Mary for giving me strength tonight. I dedicate this song to all of you out there: all who struggle and battle with the drama in their own life. Let's choose "no" for a change.
Here's the lyrics to "No More Drama":
So tired/ Tired of all this drama/ You go your way/ I go my way (no more, no more)/ I need to be free/ So tired/ Tired of all this drama/ Yeah
Broken heart again/ Another lesson learned/ Better know your friends/ Or else you will get burned
Gotta count on me/ Cuz I can guarantee that I'll be fine
No more pain (no more pain)/ No more pain (no more pain)/ No drama (no more drama in my life, no ones gonna make me hurt again)/ No more in my life
Why'd I play the fool/ Go through ups and downs/ Knowing all the time/ You wouldn’t be around/ Or maybe I liked the stress/ Cuz I was young and restless/ But that was long ago/ I don’t wanna cry no more
No more pain (no more pain, no more pain)/ No more game (no more games messing with my mind)/ No drama (no more drama in my life, no ones gonna make me hurt again, no more)/ No more in my life
No more tears (no more tears, I'm tired of crying every night)/ No more fears (no more fears I really don’t wanna cry)/ No drama (no more drama in my life I don’t ever wanna hurt again)/ No more in my life
Wanna speak ma mind wanna speak ma mind
Hooh it feels so good/ When you let go/ Of all the drama in your life/ Now you're free from all the pain (free from all the pain)/ Free from all the games (free from all the games)/ Free from all the stress (free from all the stress)/ So find your happiness
I don’t know/ Only god knows where the story ends for me/ But I know where the story begins/ It’s up to us to choose/ Whether we win or lose/ And I choose to win/ Ohhhh...
No more pain (no more pain, no more pain, tired of crying)/ No more game (tired of your planning games with my mind)/ No drama (no more drama in my life)
No more in my life (no more)/ No more tears (No more tears, no more crying every night)/ No more fears (No more waking, be up in the morning)/ No drama (leave me alone, go ahead)/ No more in my life (hey yeah)
No more pain (no more)/ No more games (no more games, I’m tired, I’m so tired)/ No drama (No more)/ No more in my life/ No more
No more drama (I’m tired of all this drama)/ No more drama (go ahead, go ahead, you demons getting out of my face)/ No more drama (go get a my life, I'm about to lose my mind)/ No more drama (help me, help me sing)
No more drama (no more drama, no more, no more)/ No more drama (yeah)/ No more drama (no, no more)/ No more drama (help me sing, I need a piece of mine)/ No more drama (yeah all I need, hide but nicely I need to know that you are free)/ No more drama
Oh no, oh no/ No more, no more/ No more drama, no more drama/ In my, in my... life
So tired (I'm so tired)/ Tired of all this drama
1 comment:
this lady is timeless and classy as always..right now I have been rockin to her "what's the 411?" CD and "you remind me" will probably remain my all time favorite by her. Love what you wrote! I feel it!
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